Edgekit's tale
by Comycat1987
Summary: Edgekit is an edgy kit. But Tiggerstar has been resurrected and is stronger than ever. Can Edgekit grow into a warrior that can fend him off? (Parody, Crackfic. Warning- triggering content.)


**Thank you for reading my bootiful example of a perfectly acceptable warrior cats Fanfiction :3**

 **I no own the kitty Katz kill each-other novels (warriors)**

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Edgekit was a small, black kitty with red stripes and violet eyes.

Edgekit was edgy. He was so edgy his litter mates died. This made his mommy sad. She was a pretty kitty named Hopewhisker. So Edgekit got edgier.

The other kitties didn't like him Because he was too edgy. He was so edgy their whiskers fell off.

Edgekit liked to listen to death metal and emo bands. He also liked to keel moths for fun Because moths are evil.

The medicine cat one day said that she had gotten a prophecy from starclan.

"The edge will slice through the storm." She said.

"Gee, does that mean Edgekit is important?" Side cat number one says.

"He must be! He's the main protagonist!" States cat number too.

"Naaaw, he's too Edgy." Replies the deputy.

"Enough kitties. Just in case I will personally train Edgekit because reasons. You are now Edgepaw." The leader, Hairystar, said.

"I don't care." Says Edgekit.

Edgekit trains with his new mentor. He has no flaws in battle and can beat the clan leader after a day of training. Oh and he can also control fire and shoot razors Because the edge gods allowed him to.

Shadowbutts decide to try to take over the forest again. Tiggerstar has been resurrected.

He attacks thunderclan camp. Everyone is totally helpless until Edgepaw saves the day by playing death metal at extremely unreasonable volumes.

"Darn you, I shall get revenge. Somehoooow." Says Tiggerstar.

"Whatever." Replies Edgepaw.

Edgepaw did so great that after only a Moon of apprenticeship he gets his warrior name.

"You are now known as Edgekiller."

"Edgekiller! Edgekiller!"

When Edgekiller was sitting vigil a hawk comes down from the sky and takes Hopewhisker away.

Edgekiller is sad.

At the next gathering Tiggerstar goes up to Edgekiller and lures him away with death metal. He throws Edgekiller in wiver.

"I am your father." Says Tiggerstar.

"Ok." Replies Edgekiller.

Tiggerstar raises an eyebrow.

"You don't care?"

"You have leik, a million children fam. Like, your just a dead whore." Says Edgekiller.

"Damn, I've been exposed!" Says Tiggerstar.

Edgekiller jumps out of river and rips Tiggerstar a new butthole.

Two months later Tiggerstar is pregnets. He has babies. He then eats the babies Because that's what you do to unwanted children.

No one questions how a tom has babies or where they came from.

Edgekiller becomes deputy. The former deputy wasn't edge enough.

The cat's find two dead dogs on the territory's and then get killed by Tiggerstars rouges.

Tiggerstar has many rogues. He has taken over all da other clans.

"I must get revenge for that damn Edgekit for ruining my life by getting me preggos." Says Tiggerstar.

Tiggerstar kills leader. But then rouge leader kills Tiggerstar.

It turns out he is the reincarnation of Scrooge, the edgiest cat alive.

Edgekiller fights Scrooge. They draw.

"Let's have an Emo off." Growls Scrooge.

"Whatever." Replies Edgekiller.

Edgekiller and Scrooge have an Emo-off. Scrooge shows off his collection of dog teeth. Edgekiller shows his collection of Mettalica shirts. Scrooge shows off his razor blades. Edgekiller shows off by singing wake me up perfectly.

Eventually Edgekiller wins and Scrooge dies Because he can't handle the Edge.

Edgekiller is now the leader of thunderclan.

Because Edgestar is so cool, thunderclan is changed to Edgeclan. The cat's are edgy. They also thicc.

Very thicc indeed.

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 **Please don't ask me what drugs I'm on, I can't list them all XD**

 **If you liked this… thing, please let me know in a review! My one-shots never get far, but I had an immense amount of fun butchering one of my favorite franchises (if ya couldn't tell this was a crackfic parody and not serious at all.)**

 **Take care all of you, and thanks for reading!**

 **Comycat~**


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